Prospective parents page
The FCS Policy On Eccentricity
It is never our aim at FCS to make all children the same, to transform each individual into some idealised norm. Many eccentrics have made great contributions and they all started out as children!
Children are different in many ways: some are very cerebral, some specialise in body language, some are more artistic, some are very empathic, etc. We need them all.
But there are some attitudes and behaviours which are necessary for any individual to survive in any human society. The essential social or co-existence skills come very naturally to some children, and have to be laboriously learnt by others. Parents are the primary teachers in this area – and their good work can be reinforced by teachers at school.
But if parents think their child, because of some out-of-the-ordinary characteristic, such as below- or above-average intellect, can be excused from the universal duty to respect one’s fellow humans, it is very difficult for a mere teacher to fill that lack. For the child, parental permission is the ultimate sanction.
But parents cannot keep their children forever. Children, however exceptional, who grow up without respect for others will suffer a diminished quality of life.
No-one is saying that social learning is equally easy for every child. However, there are minimum behavioural requirements which apply to everybody within any society. Some children have to learn the social contract more consciously and deliberately than others – with clear, consistent and compatible parent and teacher input. Children who are genuinely incapable of learning the social mores are rare, and face a future in which they will have difficulties in their interactions with others in the community. We try to assist all children as best we can in social learning.
If we at FCS see a child falling behind in age-appropriate social skills, and if our efforts to impart them are unsuccessful, our next step is to organise a chat with parents to see if we can achieve a co-ordinated approach. In the extreme case, if the parents cannot see eye-to-eye with us on the need for learning respect for one’s fellows, we know we are not benefiting the child, and we may ask them to look for a solution elsewhere.